October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed “OH NO! IT’S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!”. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled “PICK ME! PICK ME!”. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his “Madonna Look” using different sizes of funnels. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while, loudly humming the, “Mission Impossible” theme. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose. We don’t have a Code 3.Īugust 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.Īugust 14: Moved a “CAUTION – WET FLOOR” sign to a carpeted area.Īugust 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he’d invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.Īugust 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed “Why can’t you people just leave me alone?”. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice: “Code 3 in House wares. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women’s restroom. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. Harris, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras: We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to, ban both of you from the store. Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion, in our store. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter, from the local Shopping center: She’s like most women - loves to browse and leaves me with endless time to fulfill. Like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and out. she insisted I take her to the local shopping center every day. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!Īfter my retirement at the company I worked at for 50 years, I looked forward to some relaxation time and putting my feet up, but my wife had other ideas. Enjoy our team's carefully selected Retirement Jokes.
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